Reader #4: Anna Wall

During the run up to the launch of Hand Job Zine: An Anthology, we will be posting work from the readers that will be featured on the night to give you a taste of what you can expect on the 3rd of March. For more info click here and to join the facebook event follow this link.

Anna Wall

To visit the author’s Twitter click here.

 

{In 1968, the USSR took the gold medal in the women’s team gymnastics. The winning team had been forced by the coaches to become pregnant and then terminate each pregnancy at around 10 weeks to ensure that their bodies were at their most elastic and supple- if a gymnast did not have a boyfriend, the coaches impregnated them}

Fundamentals

You shared a dream
a seed, of a life
more lithe, this lie
has me fluid, like wind waved water
a son, a daughter-
who will never breathe
or blink into this world to see
parallel bars or
cannula scars.

This leotard hugs my still warm breasts
hot with the sting of emptiness.
Your myopic vision, eyes on the prize
detours across my lips,
my thighs
I despise the act
yet swallow the fact
my body, newly pliable
defies the limits of your skies.

Tightness bending
chalk mending
strapped fingers
extraction lingers
you groom, assume
that we are hungry like you
we vault
your fault
and win for ourselves,
yet the loss,
it never stops.

 

Boarders

You showed us kindness-
you didn’t charge.
The rules were many, but recall came easily
your bark etched into our memories like teethmarks.

You pressed your fingers into soft flesh,
such forgiving dough-
We looked to you wide- eyed and hungry
searching for some reflection of ourselves,
the mirror rippled, furious.
We would become you-
like molten plastic you stuck to our skin.

To them, you were dandelion and burdock
all velvet and fizz;
complex extracts of earth fuelled fodder.

You were poached eggs,
simmering to a rolling boil
they turned blind
the albumen scolded solid-

You were a greenhouse,
all summer, sweat moist
propagating.

We knew you: a thwarted shoot
ignored by sunlight
deserted by fluids, and now
you grow sideways
alone.

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