Reader #1: Tom McColl

During the run up to the launch of Hand Job Zine: An Anthology, we will be posting work from the readers that will be featured on the night to give you a taste of what you can expect on the 3rd of March. For more info click here and to join the facebook event follow this link.

Tom McColl

To visit the author’s website click here.

 

BARBIE, SINDY, JOHN AND MIKE

(Originally published in Spilling Cocoa Over Martin Amis)

With her ten-fingered lynch mob,
my sister, Tracey, tore my Action Man apart,
after finding Sindy and Barbie,
both of them naked on my bed,
discovering the joys of lesbian sex.

I didn’t realise they were sisters
or that Barbie was due to get hitched that day to Mike,
or that my Action Man’s name was Mike.

Tracey, with a severed plastic leg still in her hand,
explained that Mike,
while serving at the front line
that stretched across the living room,
had “on purpose stepped on a land mine”,
distraught at having heard the news
that his bride-to-be “was a dyke”.

My other Action Man,
which Tracey named as John,
was married off that week to Sindy,
but the marriage was a sham.
With some encouragement from me,
Sindy and Barbie continued their lesbian love affair
at every available opportunity.

That Sunday afternoon,
with John replacing Mike at the front,
and Tracey out shopping with mum,
I brought Sindy and Barbie together once again
to have their fun.

 

 

THE END OF THE MODERN WORLD

(Originally pubished in Paper and Ink zine)

Ayatollah Khomeini’s sermons
on cassette tape,
smuggled into Iran
and copied over and over again,
fomented revolution.

To think, it was the cassette tape
that made powerful again
an obsolete theology
and, not long after it did,
became an obsolete technology.

SAVAK couldn’t compete with TDK
that couldn’t compete with ARK
(Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini).

And now the Shia-inspired Islamic State he founded
is spreading its message via the internet –
its influence continuing to spread
as it fights a Sunni-inspired Islamic State
that’s also spreading its message via the internet.
And one thing I’ve learned is not to assume it will last –
that the internet, just like the cassette,
will undoubtedly soon be a thing of the past.

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